A recent study shows that 2/3 of Americans believe that cohabitation (living together with a partner before marriage) is a smart step towards a healthy marriage. This idea makes sense right? Why not practice for marriage first and then do it, right? Wrong. Many studies have proven that couple who cohabitate together before marriage are more likely to divorce.?
THE PROBLEM WITH COHABITATION
The problem with cohabitation relationships is that they are mainly based upon personal convenience and sexual pleasure than true love and commitment. The problem with this model is that people who choose cohabitation partners most likely wouldn?t marry that individual in the long run. They choose partners based upon their potentials, and both men and women agree that their standard for a partner to live with is significantly lower than their standard would be for a spouse.
WHY WOMEN COHABITATE
Women mainly cohabitate because they view it is a ?smart? step towards marriage. They have the idea in their mind that the men that they live with today will one day be their husbands in the near future. But this idea is a lie. First the man that they are cohabitating with doesn?t view marriage in the same regards as they do, and second the man would not marry the woman in the long run. If the man is already living with the woman, eating her food, and having sex with her every night, why would the woman think that he would want to marry her? He doesn?t and he won?t, because he?s already getting everything he needs from the relationship.
WHY MEN COHABITATE
Men cohabitate for two reasons, first is to test if the women is going to be marriage material, and second is to postpone commitment. Men who are cohabitating treat women as if they were cars by test driving them to see if they are worthy of marriage (whether that be for personality or sexual relations). And if the woman is not marriage material the man will stay in the cohabitation relationship until the women asks for marriage, then he will leave and go to the next girl.
To expand upon the second idea, most men desire to cohabitate because they want to postpone commitment. Men do not want to be committed to a woman, and cohabitation is an easy way for them not to be.? Cohabitation gives the men all the benefits of a marriage relationship without all of the burdens or responsibilities of having to love and care for a wife.
WHY COHABITATION SEX ISN?T LOVE
People who cohabitate together are usually having sex together. They believe that there is nothing wrong with this because they say ?we are both responsible adults? and ?we can do whatever we want?. Yet the problem with having sex before marriage is that your foundation of your relationship is based upon lust and passion. So the man stays with the woman because she is bringing him some type of physical pleasure and vice versa.
This idea is why so many people who cohabitate end in divorces, lust can only last for so long. Eventually when you are in a relationship with someone, what is going to last is commitment and perseverance to one another, not what one another can do in the bedroom. Having sex with someone that you do not know blinds your eyes so that you do not see them for who they really are.
THE SOLUTION TO THE COHABITATION?DILEMMA
I believe that the solution to the cohabitation dilemma is the same solution that we have had since the beginning of mankind- marriage. It was God?s original design and it?s the only way that true love can be expressed.
Instead of finding a temporary sleeping buddy, we should be looking for companions that we can spend our entire lives with. Therefore we should take time, without sex, to get to know a person first, and then if we find out that we are really in love get married. Both men and women need to be in committed relationships only with those they can see themselves married too, and it takes time to find out if someone is marriage material.
Like I stated in the beginning, studies show that cohabitation partners are more likely to be divorced. So we shouldn?t believe the lies and deception of society that cohabitation is practice for marriage. Instead, we should follow the word of God and pursue marriage they way that God intended for it to be.
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Source: http://urbangospelmission.com/cohabitation-is-practicing-for-marriage-right/
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